Say What

Words. If I’m not saying them, I’m listening to them. Well, maybe not listening to them, but hearing that little humming noise they make in the background as I wait for my turn to talk.

Which brings us to the most annoying words and phrases of 2010. I have no quarrel with any of the candidates because they are part of my daily vocabulary. “Whatever,” for example, is surely better than the alternative: Thus it was and thus it ever shall be. And “Actually” and “Like?” Why not take "You Know" away and be done with it. Then I can just sit in a corner, rocking.

This attempt to rid our vocabulary of certain words is surely taking the English language in the wrong direction. We need more words, not fewer.

For example, we need a word for a woman who stands on her doorstep screaming at her kids. The Danes have one, it’s “Kaelling.”

Or what about a word for someone who attends a funeral just for the free refreshments. The Portuguese call him Pesamenteiro.

How about “Gamadj” from the Obibway tribe, which means to dance with a scalp in one’s hands in order to receive presents. Believe me, I’ve been to that Christmas party.

Once you get started admiring other cultures, it’s hard to stop. “Buffona” is Italian for an attractive woman with a mustache. And “Rhwe” is South African for sleeping on the floor without your mat while drunk and naked.

As far as I know, no other country has yet nailed a few concepts that would be handy in my daily life. Such as:

Unreasonable anger when neighbor always parks in front of your house and there’s plenty of room in front of his.

…Oh wait a minute, I think I found something in Croatian.