Waiter, there's a rat in my lamb

"Rat Meat Sold as Lamb
The Ministry of Public Security said on Thursday that the police had caught a gang of traders in eastern China who bought rat ... and sold it as mutton." New York Times

When the food labeling bill lost in this past year's election, I said, Hurrah! Another blow to the nanny state.

Who doesn't inspect their leg of lamb for a long and naked tail. It's called personal responsibility, folks.

Of course, the most curious thing about this story is that, until exposed, no one complained about the flavor. Apparently diners happily chowed down on those lamb kabobs and never said, "Hey, this is super gamey and tastes like my attic."

For those of us who missed out on obvious investment opportunities, Apple and Google booms spring to mind, you and I can both sniff a ground-floor opportunity when we smell one.

Gnaw on this: Does anything scream sustainability like rats? I don't think you even have to feed the fuckers. Why not this other, other white meat. (I'm making an assumption here -- maybe rats have both white and dark meat, in which case you-know-who will fight for the drumstick.)

Think about it -- someday thousands of investors will have made millions by betting that little rat ranches will dot the countryside. Trader Joe's will offer your free range rats, and Whole Foods will scoop up the locavore crowd, with a surcharge for steaks certified soy-free.

And we're only scratching the surface.

Keep your eye on the commodities exchange and rat belly futures. Fortune favors the bold. And sometimes fortune doesn't call your name, it just squeaks.