The Tender Trap

What I've never understood about the same-sex marriage controversy is why anyone considers the institution, the act of marriage itself, sacred. Or even particularly meaningful. You can marry and unmarry and marry again and unmarry again and marry once more and, well, as far as I know there's no limit to the thing. You can marry marry marry until the cows come home, so long as you un un un at requisite intervals. It's just until now it took a specific number of chromosomes to enter the club.

I don't believe marriage is the cornerstone of civilization. Marriage can last for a lifetime, or a day.

Of course, relationships can be solid, unto-death-do-we-part, solid. But that's not matrimony, that's a commitment beyond what 40-50% of us can comprehend.

Those who oppose same-sex marriage call on religion or even the constitution to back them up. A local radio opinionator claims that marriage between one man and one woman is "The foundation of a god-blessed society." I clicked on his bio -- with three marriages under his belt, apparently he subscribes to the Church of the Moving Foundation.

For what it's worth, I think everyone, of whatever gender combination, should be able to give marriage a try, if that's what they want. And try, try again, if that's their pleasure. And I'll attend the celebration, in stockings and heels. But on that third go-around, I don't care who you are, you're not getting one more Belgian waffle iron, toaster oven, Lalique deer, chess set, salad spinner, picture frame, bud vase, or sterling silver garlic press out of me.

Because unless I get married a fourth time, there's just nothing around here to re-gift. I'm keeping the popcorn popper, so don't even think about it; thou shalt not covet.